the trash, the rubble, the ruin

saturday, march 27
venice beach, ca

i woke up in my "own" room: for the first time in 3 months. the light flooding the tall ceilings and the blank white walls of my loft. green bamboo gently sways and dances on the other side of the window pane. the bamboo is dancing with the wind.

laying next to me is the body of a beautiful man. a lover of sorts. last night we fell asleep instead of falling into passion. i feel the languidness of his heavy body, the warmth of his sleeping skin. the dancing particles shifting between pure energy and form. the energy is my spirit, the form is my body full of lazy yearning. i enjoy the longing his body awakens in mine. there is intensity in the silence. i say my body prayers, running my mantra through my chakras, feeling the heat pass through my different body centers. i invite her in for today. sophia, the holy ghost. or the serpent kundalini. she has many names.

instead of waking him up, i gently lift his heavy arm and let him keep sleeping, i slip out from under him to come downstairs and make coffee and talk to the computer screen. some dances end before they begin.

i have been back from mother india 1 week.

god i love her
her warm body
her thick, pungent breath

the feel of her skin on my bare feet
the trash
the rubble
the ruin
the heartbreak
the poverty
the spontaneous smiles
the inquisitive and shameless black eyes
staring
searching
meeting

the trash
the rubble
the ruin
the glory, the endless glory

i peel my invisible heart open like a (transluscent) onion to meet another day