Rage and transformation

sunday, october 10
topanga canyon, ca

in the core training i am teaching now, we started by posing the question, "what are the blockages to feeling our power?". this training has turned out to be all women, and it was very interesting that in the first week with all the strong breathwork, what came up was a lot of heat, anger and rage. emotions that are transformational and powerful but often repressed. psychologically, rage is said to be a feminine emotion.

we met one morning outside by the beach and saw a full moon that was still full in the pre-dawn sky, the moon with it's big and yellow face hanging like a giant gong in the pale morning gray-blue. we stopped to take in the moon in our eyes, to drink the lunar nectar and do lunar breathing to activate the right brain and lunar channel of the subtle spine.

we stood in a circle facing each other and held strong stances for long periods of time until the bodies trembled and bones shook and the damn broke with cathartic release.

one of the sisters said "this makes me feel angry"
with tears in her eyes
standing in the circle i am reflected those tears are mine too, that anger mine too
yes, we must open the emotions that have been repressed
they are just life in flow being expressed
would you ask a volcano not to exist?
the red hot lava is part of the cycle of life
birth-death-rebirth
at the time of explosion it destroys things
but the lava cools and the volcanic soil is more fertile than before
nutrition
the elements ask to move through us and so often we try to ignore the invitation
we try to control the big life trying to move through us
and then these elements, ancestors, spirits and archetypes get impatient and knock harder
maybe they will have to knock your house down to get your attention
without destruction, how can there be renewal?
without death, how can there be rebirth?
we live forever in the wheel of creation
the play of the creatrix

thank you sisters for diving so deep so quickly
soul mining
heart shining

human feeling
we are yes
gods and humans
we are walking where angels fear to tread
feeling the cold dew on morning grass
beneath our stomp stomp elephant feet
earth will feel me
sky will hear me
as i stomp stomp
dance and roar
sisters show me more
of your sweet insides
in our container there is room for your light and shadow
i embrace you all
i embrace all of you and me
this is the mother loving
alchemy

there are enough religions of what happens when we die
after this life
give me the religion of how to be here now
in this body of bliss and pain
in this heart of love and loss
give me the religion of not running away
to a heaven that may exist someday
heaven and hell are happening now
give me the religion of this body, this breath, this emotional dream playing me like a song
sometimes a love song and sometimes a blues song
i welcome all the songs
all songs are one
and someday when we die
we will be one again too
for now give me the religion of how to weave between
one and two
the mother and the father